If you want a tree to grow, it won’t help to water the leaves. You have to water the roots.
---Thich Nhat Hanh
Reflecting on the year, I am inspired by the clients at Modern Therapy Seattle, who remained determined to continue therapy and self-care during a year of tragedy and uncertainty. Additionally, clients were able to walk this unchartered path with their therapists, who were also enduring loss, grief, anxiety, fear, dread…you name it. We held each other up! Courage strengthened us all.
As 2020 winds down, I hear chimes of, “Let us start over, good riddance, the next year will be better.” Although I understand the desire to move on--to put the past behind us--I strongly feel that we might benefit from giving heartfelt attention and ritual to the last 12 months. How might we honor the hardships? And how might we carry forth compassion and gratitude?
On December 31, I plan to engage with a ritual to respectfully say goodbye to the dark of 2020…even though my impulse is to say, “Peace Out!” and pretend the year did not happen. But it did. And the challenges will be forever etched into our lives. I am curious about the opportunity such suffering provides.
If allowing yourself time for a healing ritual appeals to you, too, then follow the instructions below for a meditation. I suggest burning or burying the paper used in the meditation.
COMPASSIONATE FAREWELL TO 2020
Write down a list of losses, challenges, disappointments of 2020--anything you want to say goodbye to.
Rip/cut into individual strips of paper.
Find a quiet, private, calm space and find a comfortable place to sit.
Light a candle.
Ground yourself and set an intention, such as “I honor the tough year and the lessons learned.” Or “Let the challenges of 2020 strengthen my resolve to find purpose, meaning, and commonality in 2021.”
Read out loud one list item. Sit with the discomfort for several breaths (as many as feels right). Where do you feel it in your body? Next, conjure self-compassion for the discomfort--kindness toward all we have been through; notice the difference in your body. Take a few more deep breaths, nurturing emotions, sensations, & thoughts. Then choose one of the following and put that strip of paper:
Into a fire to burn.
Into the earth to bury (for example, in a potted plant, garden, or yard).
Into a box to save for disposal of your choice.
Repeat step 6 for each item.
After you have read the entire list and either burned, buried, or boxed, say out loud the following mantra:
May I have compassion for the collective suffering and uncertainty of 2020. May I bring love and a desire for peace forward to 2021. May I have the strength to support social movements that aim to heal the earth and welcome health, safety, equality to all people. Finally, may I make self-compassion a priority throughout the next year.
Take three deep breaths followed by three luxurious sighs. Stretch your arms. Hug yourself.
Blow out the candle.
You are now ready to welcome the light of 2021. Do so with kindness.
This meditation could be intense! I suggest you drink some water and give yourself time to rejoin the space you are in. You might want to journal about your experience.
With love and gratitude,
Valerie