Valentine's Day Advice with Two Therapists

I've been on the Psychology in Seattle podcast a number of times before, and I always enjoy talking to Kirk Honda. His perspective is always interesting, because his therapy training is different from mine. His orientation is more of a systems or family style, and I am trained originally as an individual therapist.  Nevertheless, everyone has something to say about Valentine's Day! 

Listen to the podcast here:

How To Handle Valentine's Day When You're In A Brand-New Relationship


I was thrilled to be asked by Kasandra to contribute to this article! As a dating coach, Valentine's Day is one of my favorite days of the year, but I know it brings angst to a lot of people. I had a hilarious conversation with Kasandra about how to celebrate V Day with a new dating partner, specifically folks who may not be into the traditional hearts and flowers.


You're three weeks into a new relationship, and then suddenly it's Valentine's Day. What do you do? Try to ignore it and run away? Or make a huge romantic gesture? After all, everyone else is making grand declarations of love, so why not join in?

There's another option to consider — one that's somewhere in between ice cold and burning hot. Let's call it lukewarm. Or as Kate Stewart, a counselor and dating coach in Seattle, says, "scale your Valentine's Day from zero to medium."

That's dependent on where you are in the relationship, of course. If you're three dates in, maybe it's best to ignore the holidayaltogether. (Might we suggest celebrating Galentine's Day with your best pals instead?) But if you're a month in and have had "the talk" — you know, the one where you decide you actually are in a relationship and not just hooking up — then something small and meaningful could be in order.

Still not sure what that small and meaningful thing could be? We talked to Stewart and two other dating experts — Joy Harden Bradford, PhD, a licensed psychologist and owner of Therapy For Black Girls, and Frankie Bashan, PsyD, a professional matchmaker for queer women — for some suggestions. Read on for their complete guide to Valentine's Day for you and your brand-new bae.

Finish reading the article here!