"How To Be Friends With Your Ex" from Autostraddle

I'm always delighted to be called for interviews, especially by writers for progressive websites like Autostraddle! 

Creating and maintaining friendships with exes is an important part of some small communities, like non-monogamous or queer communities. Not to mention relationships with shared custody of children or property!


How To Be Friends With Your Ex

Posted by Carolyn Yates on March 6, 2018 at 11:56am PST

Whether you see it as the biggest lesbian cliché or a necessary part of living within queer communities, being friends with an ex — ex-hook-up, ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, ex-activity-partner, ex-never-put-a-label-on-it-so-does-“ex”-even-apply — crosses everyone’s mind sooner or later.

Personally, my ex-partner Jenna is also one of my best friends, so I called her to ask how we got here. “We were dating and it was really fucking shitty, and you take all the shittiness away, and now it’s now. One of the reasons it was hard to break up was because we got along in some ways, and in other ways not so much, so it was like taking away all the ways that we didn’t get along and keeping all the ways we do get along,” Jenna told me. For me, the end of our romantic partnership felt less like a breakup and more like getting my friend back. Moving cities immediately, being each other’s support network, and the fact that we were always better over email helped, too.

Maybe you still have so much in common, maybe you have all the same friends and don’t want it to be weird, maybe you have no friends except for each other, maybe you want to honor your history together, maybe you run a business together, maybe you have really high attachment anxiety and this is what you do, or maybe you just want to make sharing your cats or kids goes smoothly. Here’s how to be friends with an ex.


Read the rest of the article here!